Words from and about Cassandra Coates from colleagues, friends, correspondents and Cassandra herself [Thoughts of Cassandra, too, came in to Classics-L] Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2003 07:40:48 -0500 From: "b @hms.harvard.edu> Subject: cassandra coates Hi, I am a former student of Ms Coates. I just found out of her passing. Let me just reaffirm to you that she was an excellent teacher and a wonderful person. Bill === From the Archives of dvccomp, an informal discussion group of Diablo Valley College's English Department Cassandra began teaching at Diablo Valley College in Pleasant Hill in 1996, though some of her colleagues there had known her previously at Alameda High and through other professional circles. As political tensions arose at Diablo Valley College in the late fall of 2001, faculty members began staffing informational tables on campus. Cassandra was eager to help. === From: cassandra coates Date: Sat Dec 1, 2001 12:15 pm Subject: Issues Re. who would be necessary for the post-Apocalypse re-building of DVC--I, for one, would be standing in the rain holding a shopping bag if it weren't for Terri. Also, I hate to ask: I think a number of part-timers might be anxious to participate next week but might be concerned about job-protection. For those of us long in the tooth it may not matter so much, but I wonder if those of our younger number might need to know possible repercussions. (For some reason, I haven't been able to get the McCarthy era out of my mind lately.) Well, at least the plants are being watered and we have heat in the house. Best, Cassandra === [When the news about Cassandra's death came out, we at DVC were stunned but at least had some words we could use to comfort us.] Date: Mon Oct 7, 2002 9:36 am Colleagues, For those of you who don't already know, part-timer Cassandra Coates passed away this weekend following a year or so of health problems. As more details become available, we will inform the entire division. This comes as a shock to us all as she had contacted us about substituting or teaching one class soon. Our thoughts and prayers to her husband and family. Fondly, Patrick *** Date: Mon Oct 7, 2002 10:19 am We are devastated to have to report that our dear friend and colleague Cassandra Coates died Saturday October 5th. She had recently been in the hospital following elective brain surgery to repair an aneurysm. We don't have a great deal of other information at this time, but as and if we learn more, we will share here. If a story about Cassandra, or a memory of Cassandra, or a quote which captures her blithe spirit comes to you that you would like to share, please post it here, and we will collect them. __________ Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting: The soul that rises with us, our life's star. Hath had elsewhere its setting, and cometh from afar ... Thanks to the human heart by which we live Thanks to its tenderness, its joys and fears To me the meanest flower that blows can give Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears. --William Wordsworth Julie & James === Date: Mon Oct 7, 2002 6:29 pm I have been wandering around all day since I got your message just thinking about Cassandra. Here's a freeflow of ideas: I loved talking with her in our office. She always wore the most exquisite outfits. She was the epitome of what I thought of the proper British lady--like Mary Poppins or Maggie Smith. She was smart. Funny. I loved the way she talked; her words were always so precise. I loved how she could dissect all the different versions of The Odyssey, pointing out the strengths of one translation over another. I really appreciated how she handled Herman when he would get on a roll, spinning his own words around him, so that he got tangled in them before giving up in frustration. I loved how she was so proud of her Cabriolet. She was a good, kind person and always upbeat. I will miss her terribly. Dee === Date: Mon Oct 7, 2002 7:23 pm Cassandra and I both grew up in Orinda, a fact we often discussed. She was an El Toyonal girl, and we both knew stories about folks from that side of town. We swam at the same local pool, and were both afraid of Peg, the permanently tanned and often screaming lifeguard. What always struck me was that Cassandra never seemed to be from Orinda, or, frankly, anywhere on this continent. She knew more about literature and languages than anyone I ever ran into. She would pop her head into my office and invite me to translation groups and Beowulf parties and poetry readings. She talked about Aristotle and ancient Scandinavian texts. I could never imagine her growing up anywhere near me, who read Danielle Steele during algebra. I never knew her as well as I would have liked--and I blame myself for that, always too busy for just about everything these days, much less translation parties. She was a wonderful supporter of my work, and came to my DVC library reading a month before she fell ill last November. I will always imagine her walking through our open aired halls, thinking about something deep and big and amazing. Something I could never, most likely, understand. Jessica === From: "Deborah Silvey" I, too, have been feeling the loss of Cassandra all day, and I say that feeling extra sad that I didn't make more of an effort to be with her during her illness and subsequent recovery. I love what you said about her, Dee; you echo a lot of what I was thinking. She had a great love of beauty and sensitivity to language. I remember her coming to our house when a bunch of us were going to the Alchemist a couple of years ago, and she captivated my husband with her ideas about Berkeley architecture and Renaissance drama. She was funny and smart and still so enthusiastic--somehow the cynicism that's supposed to accompany the first two didn't seem to take with her (in my limited experience of her, anyway). This poem is one I sent to her last year, and makes me think of her: Waxwings Four Tao philosophers as cedar waxwings chat on a February berrybush in the sun, and I am one. Such merriment and such sobriety-- the small wild fruit on the tall stalk-- was this not always my true style? Above an elegance of snow, beneath a silk-blue sky a brotherhood of four birds. Can you mistake us? To sun, to feast, and to converse and all together--for this I have abandoned all my other lives. Robert Francis (1901-1987) *** Date: Mon Oct 7, 2002 7:55 pm Yeah, but Dee. The batting eyelashes, and tilt of the head. The "Oh, really?" which told you what? The breath between sentences, the eyes going up to the right when she was considering your idea. The voice, and always something about the damn Greeks. "Well, Debra, you know..." and then we were off to Sparta... Debra === Date: Mon Oct 7, 2002 7:52 pm Subject: Remembering Cassandra Cassandra once used the office that was Ellen's, (near my own,) and so we occasionally would have brief chats. I did her evaluation one year and was impressed by her background and knowledge regarding one of her favorite subjects, World Mythology. Then the semester when I taught World Mythology, a course I had not taught in many years, Cassandra was enormously helpful in advising me about texts and how she approached such a rich and difficult course. I wonder sometimes why it is that some people briefly touch our lives] without even trying, and we know we'll remember that "touch" always. I have relatives whom I have known all my life, whose faces I can't picture when I close my eyes, yet I can "see" Cassandra's face and almost "hear" her voice, and it was her graciousness and kindness that made her special to me. Jann *** Date: Tue Oct 8, 2002 9:55 am Cassandra was one of my mentors when I was a first year teacher at Alameda High School, many years ago. We shared a classroom; she taught world mythology before I taught freshman comp. I will never forget the day I walked into her classroom to discover a blackboard covered with, literally, dozens of what appeared to be chalk drawings of (I kid you not, and I hesitate because it is my first intentional posting to the list serve) ejaculating phallic symbols. I stopped. "Cassandra! What is your class studying?" "Oh we're looking at weapons of war, and I'm demonstrating the cannons, and I couldn't get the students to quite see how they were firing everywhere." She turned to look at the board, and we laughed together. So Cassandra, so passionate about her experience of literature, so engrossed in getting the students to share that passion. Toni *** Cassandra, like so many of us, loved Shakespeare. Unlike so many of us(myself included), she also had a deep, scholarly appreciation of him; I was so often amazed by the breadth and depth of her knowledge. When I heard of her death, I thought of Lear's lines about Cordelia: "Her voice was ever soft,/Gentle and low, an excellent thing in woman." And, of course, in man. I will miss the strength and power of Cassandra's gentle,low voice. Maureen *** Everyone's loving memories of Cassandra softens my heart. Please keep them coming as I, too, am grieving her loss. As I slowly informed faculty yesterday, I realized that it served as a way for me to cope with the sudden news. I've known Cassandra since I began teaching at DVC. When I was the Assessment coordinator, we'd have splendid talks about some of the essays students wrote for the exam, which enabled us to springboard into essays from students in our courses. I loved talking to her about translations or her work reading ETS essays. She had such a naive way about her that would being smiles to my face. Her husband has always been a supporter of her teaching and intellectual growth. She was such a intellect. I remember when I was about to leave for a party they were hosting once when he called to tell me it was canceled. That should have been my clue things weren't going well for her. I enjoyed carpooling with her. It was never any trouble to pick her up at her home or to meet at a mutually agreed upon location. I can still see her standing out on the corner as I come around the bend on Broadway Terrace. She substituted for me, several times, and the students enjoyed her wit and intelligence, thinking she had prepared their lesson plan for the day, which brought a laugh to both of us. Although I could have gotten to know her better, I cherish the time and talks I shared with her. I will miss her and the love she had for my family especially my daughter. Patrick === Date: Tue Oct 8, 2002 1:13 pm When I read Cassandra had died, I was initially shocked; then, I began to feel profoundly sad. I am still profoundly sad. As I am reading all of your thoughts and your memories of Cassandra, I keep wondering why I didn't take more time to get know her. Each time I saw her, I would smile-being around her made me feel good, and I always enjoyed our conversations--so why didn't I make a greater effort. I think I took time for granted. After all she was a young woman; I could make the time later. I am going to try to learn something from this latest regret; maybe I will begin to reevaluate my priorities--make some changes that will help lessen future, similar feelings of regret. Nancy Z === Date: Tue Oct 8, 2002 6:37 pm I'm feeling shocked and sad as well. I will miss Cassandra not only at DVC but at the ETS readings where we would often have lunch together and talk about, of course, teaching, but often about our lives. I was always impressed that she would ask me about my life, remembering details I'd forgotten about. The last time we had lunch together, not long before she became ill last year, we were talking about being a part-timer at DVC, and she shared her dismay about how hard it is for so many of them to get full-time jobs. I think it was the only time I ever heard a note of sadness in her voice, and a pin-prick of anger. Cassandra was an elegant flower in our midst, and I will remember her warmth and friendliness always. Karen *** Date: Tue Oct 8, 2002 11:03 pm I heard of Cassandra's death today. I couldn't take it in right away. I'd thought of her as recovering from her latest surgery and I assumed she'd continue with us. She was such a fighter for and lover of life. She was also incredibly kind and compassionate. When I was very ill several years ago, she kept me good, thoughtful company on email, cheered me immensely, sent encouragement after encouragement, and continually offered assistance of all kinds with my children, home, and classes. She was always amazingly interesting, eloquent, mysterious, and real, genuine -- I always felt she was addressing me and others from a deep, generous place. I can't believe she's gone and I feel so sad that I didn't get to say goodbye. Marcia *** Thank you all who shared your memories of Cassandra. Your words captured Cassandra so well. It's a good thing to be remembered by good writers! I suppose I must qualify that by adding -- IF one is loved as Cassandra was. I've been feeling blue since I heard the news but kept attending to work this week. I didn't read my email at home (where I get our dvccomp emails) until tonight, Wed. night, so all of your emails came at me at once. They made me see her again and miss her keenly. They made me smile and cry and helped me feel connected to you in our shared grief. I didn't realize she spoke to so many about her fascination with translations. One of our discussions, comparing translations of the same passage, led to one of my more successful classes in World Mythology. I shared my materials with Nancy Malone, who in turn thanked me for them and said they worked well with her students. So even in that one instance we can see how Cassandra's influence has spread and spread. Hers is the kind of spirit that the world needs more of and I hope her gentle, kind, intelligent way will spread and spread. Ellen *** Date: Sun Oct 13, 2002 12:11 pm Subject: Re: [dvccomp] More of your words about Cassandra I have been reading your comments and quietly reflecting on Cassandra's death- more so on her life - a ray of light in the department. Words like "integrity in teaching " pass through my head, right along with your words. Warmly, Leona *** As I am now reading through all these gracious tributes to Cassandra, I have to say that I too am feeling her loss keenly. We shared a lot up in FO262, her excitement over the new ed. of BEOWULF, her interest in the translation group of the Finnish epic, which she frequently mentioned, ideas about teaching, about poetry, about Socrates--when she and Ty went off into that elusive land of the Greeks, I too, like Jessica, felt somewhat out of my depth. A couple humorous notes so typical of Cassandra: we were talking about the common expression of our students--"No way!" to which Cassandra said the appropriate rejoinder would be "Yes, way!" So we said that for virtually everything the next couple of weeks--seemed hilarious at the time. Then she had that expression, "There is that," as a way of acknowledging the verbal contribution one had just made. One day we were indulging in a future mythical never-never land in which English teachers would be held in great repute, and paid enormous sums of money, for their skills in such abstruse things as the use of the subjunctive [$2000], the naming of all languages using the genitive case [don't remember the figure, but certainly astronomical] and other such delightful arcana and fauna. Who ever said scholars were dull? Not up in FO 262! I remember a year ago June at the AP Eng. Lit. reading in Daytona Beach when Cassandra went with me and my daughter and daughter's boyfriend out to a very elegant restaurant for dinner. I watched her put this young man, who was being "inspected" by both mom and mom's friend! at ease as we sampled each other's desserts and then were shown the sights [if Dayton can be said to have such] by these two 20-somethings. We all had such fun. After that occasion, she never failed to ask me how my daughter was. There is a big empty space now up in FO 262, though she was slightly built. I still can't believe she's gone. No way! But yes, way. And my heart smiles through tears. Barbara Hamm *** I was so moved by all of your words about Cassandra--they helped me enormously. I tried to write my own memories down but found it impossible. Instead, I found myself saying some of your words over and over and found they came together into a poem. I've used your words as they were with some few changes and tried to find the common places in our grief. I also used the lovely excerpt from the Wordsworth poem that James and Julie quoted in their initial note to us about Cassandra's death. I've pasted my poem below. Many thanks for all your heartfelt responses and memories. Judy "The soul that rises with us, our life's star." --William Wordsworth We are devastated our dear friend and colleague died. We are devastated to have to tell you that Cassandra died. We don't have a great deal of other information at this time, but this comes as a shock to us. As and if we learn more, it will come as a shock to us. I heard of Cassandra's death today. I have been wandering around all day. I couldn't take it in right away. I'm feeling shocked and sad as well. I, too, have been feeling the loss of Cassandra all day. I am grieving her loss. I am still profoundly sad. We see her again, capture her blithe spirit, Cassandra's face, the breath between sentences, the eyes going up to the right as she considered your idea. Cassandra never seemed to be from Orinda or frankly, anywhere on this continent. She talked about Aristotle, ancient Scandinavian texts, captivated my husband with insights into Berkeley architecture and Renaissance drama. What about the dozens of what appeared to be chalk drawings of (I kid you not) ejaculating phallic symbols literally covering the blackboard? "Oh we're looking at weapons of war, and I'm demonstrating the cannons, how they were firing everywhere." The laughter, the batting eyelashes, and tilt of the head. The "Oh, really?" which told you what? These memories of Cassandra soften my heart. Please keep them coming as I, too, am grieving her loss and I say that, feeling extra sad that I didn't make more of an effort during her illness and subsequent recovery. I am going to try to learn something from this latest regret. I didn't realize she spoke to so many. I will miss her and the love she had, especially for my daughter. I will remember her warmth and friendliness always. I will miss her terribly, keenly. How she handled H. when he would get on a roll, spinning his own words around him so that he got tangled in them before giving up in frustration. How she was funny and smart-- somehow the cynicism of brilliance didn't take with her. The occasional note of sadness, pin-prick of anger, her eloquence, mysteriousness, how she was so proud of her Cabriolet, loved Shakespeare, the naive way about her. She will always walk through our open-aired halls, thinking about something deep and big, mysterious and genuine, and always something about the damn Greeks. "Well, you know..." and then we 're off to Sparta... Our shared grief came at me all at once "Thanks to the human heart by which we live Thanks to its tenderness, its joys and fears To me the meanest flower that blows can give Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears." --William Wordsworth *** Cassandra's presence has been captured so eloquently in all of your shared memories. I last saw her when she brought flowers to Marian a year ago and was so moved by her quiet caring. Judy, your poem is a profound tribute to how much she meant to all of us (and, for me, how much I take for granted that there is always time ... time to show my appreciation and love ... time later, whenever I finish whatever it is that seems so important, at the time). Jean *** Judy, Thank you so much for the poem. It made me cry to see all of our words intermingled into such a loving tribute. Do you suppose Cassandra ever realized how much she meant to each of us? Dee